Feline Friday

Today has finally come. The day where it may, some how, some way, be considered normal to post pictures of cats in costume. With Halloween being right around the corner, Google images has really stepped up its' game with the amount of cat pictures readily available. And when you creepily love cats as much as we do.....the Feline Friday before Halloween is almost better than the holiday itself.

Ok, just girls dressed up as cats. They've really nailed the look.

Trick or Treat Thursday

Trick or Treat: Trick or Treat-ing

What?

Really?

FACT SHEET:
- Trick or Treating has been around since free candy became legal
- Trick or Treat originally meant the person asking for the treat would preform a trick for the amusement of the giver
- Parents who chose to give out 'tricks' instead of  'treats' are considered 'bad people'
- Samhainophobia is the fear of Halloween
-  Halloween is the second most commercially successful holiday after Christmas


RULING: Treat that can't be beat

A: Trick or Treating can only be referred to as one thing - a treat. Coming from me, this is big (if I do say so myself), as I was definitely the girl made it my mission to fill up my pillowcase/candy bag to the brim, eat one piece in excitement, and hide the rest under my sister's bed for her enjoyment the remainder of the year. Any holiday where it's socially acceptable to ask your neighbors for free stuff without expectation of anything back in return is really fine by me. Also, what a great way to judge people around you that you barely know. The house that gives out mini snickers? The mom is a decent human being. The house that gives out apples? The mom is a wet blanket. The house that gives out cans of regular coke? The mom is most likely going to allow underage drinking in years to come. The only trick about this ritual is that for some reason there's an age where it becomes 'weird' to partake in the activity (i.e. see MK's response below). Riddle me this: It's weird for an adult to dress up and go door-to-door for candy, but it's not weird for an adult to dress up, take 12 shots, and wake up in a gutter the next morning? I'm confused. Treat on, adults. Treat on.



MK: Ruling: A Treat! (Age restrictions apply). I remember the days of my trick-or-treating: they were magical. Once I got into high school, I must've decided I was way too cool to be asking people to give me some candy in a pillowcase. That's right, I didn't even have a cute accessory to put my delicious treats in, I was at the stage where I only wanted a pillowcase. I think that overall, trick-or-treating is such a treat, but once people get to a certain age - 15 and above - I think it's more of a trick. Most no longer have cute/awesome/rad costumes to ring doorbells in and it is obvious they are out for free candy, but you can't really blame them. Speaking of the candy.....it's such a trick when you get DumDum pops!

What We're Listening To Wednesdays

Bum.Ble's Back ALRIGHT!

BSB? Anyone? Just me? Good. Good stuff. Ok, so we've been away for a while. I know.....this distance has been hard on both of us. But let me tell you, a LOT has happened since we've been gone (insert Kelly Clarkson song). For instance, MK booked herself a trip to Spain. NO JOKE. She's going to be a Spaniard. She's also discovered the Pumpkin Spice Coffee and Swiss Miss Hot Chocolate packets in the kitchen. Thus, a lot of time has been spent on warm, afternoon treats for herself and co-workers. Double thus, the blogging has taken a back seat. MK isn't all to blame --- I myself have fallen off the wagon . A recent iPad contest at work took over control of pretty much every life aspect for about a week and a half - sleeping, even breathing was hard to do. Luckily, I came out the victor and now normal things, like project management, can resume as regularly scheduled. Hoo-rah.

Without further adieu.....A and MK have both done some sort of strange cubicle dance to OUTKAST today. Making it officially A and MK OUTKAST day.

A: ATLiens
Yet another tune that goes on the list of songs that I could engage in a rap battle with and come out successfully. This one is particularly close to my heart because a kid in my fourth grade class used to rap this all the time. I remember sitting in awe as he warned me that when he's on the microphone I need to put on my sweater, 'cause he was cooler than a polar bear's toe nails, and oh hell, there he went again....talkin that 'ish. Let the record show - Mike McKinney (to be later referred to by his rapper name, Teflon, in high school) - that I'm still upset this was actually an Outkast song and not you're own lyrical styling. DAMN. Although, this kid also taught me a Mikey Mouse version of "Whomp There It Is" that earned me a lot of cred on the playground of Mill Street Elementary School. So, I can't be that mad. This one's for you, Tef.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NywdVBwzurU 

MK: Rosa Parks
Welcome back to our blog! We apologize for our hiatus, but we are back with avengence. Today, I'm listening to Outkast - Rosa Parks. To be honest, this was my strut song when I walked into the building this morning. It wasn't on purpose as my iPod was on shuffle, but it came on and it has stuck with me throughout the day. The beat is catchy, and the chorus is easy to sing along with. All criteria that makes this a repeater throughout the day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjRPBrmu1WQ

Trick or Treat Thursday

Pumpkin Spice Latte's (PSLs): Trick or Treat?

A bumper stick for most stay-at-home moms.

Excited patron at SB noticing the PSL is back. We don't know her, but we're guessing she's a treat.

FACT SHEET:
- Starbuck's best pick-up line: "When it's time to fall back into fall, sweet and spicy pumpkin is sure to please".
- 380 calories for a grande. That's a little grand. Eh?
- The current world record for biggest pumpkin ever is a massive 1,725 pounds. (Imagine this fact being said in an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice. Not sure why. Just do it.)
- No actual pumpkins are harmed in the making of this drink.

RULING: Trick

A: Since the beginning of time, I've never been a die-hard Starbucks enthusiast. I know...most people gasp at the thought of that sentence. I think my hold up is between the beverages that cost as much as a meal, the secret language you're required to know the instant you walk in the place (no whip, double foam, one pump syrup, two shots in the head.....please and thanks), and the SB addicts who idolize the mermaid on the cup like she's freaking Princess Ariel. The only thing that tickles my Tuesday about this place is the paraphernalia they sell. Who'd pass up the opportunity to buy a clear insulated tumbler that actually looks like the plastic cups they give you in the store?  The marketing is groundbreaking. I must admit....I've never actually tried a PSL, but I still rule this liquid nightmare as a trick because of one reason: FACEBOOK. Fall rolls around, and it's suddenly every girls' cue to post a mobile upload of the SB cup as if they have accomplished something great for the day. Here's the deal: ya haven't. I know it's fall, I know we're all excited, and I know you'd like to jump into a sweater and curl up by the fire. But please, does the world need to know that the highlight of your day was created by a green-aproned guy named Rufus? No. The answer is always no.

MK: Pumpkin Spice Lattes:  Known to the Starads (Starbucks addicts) as PSL's, are quite tricky.  I've been known to indulge myself in these little lattes, but over the years, they'e become a staple in the mornings of many pseudo-hipsters, mainly of the female gender.  Before I go into further explanation of this trickiness, let me just reiterate the fact that I, too, join the ranks of many and get a PSL....once in a while.  The main trick here is the constant Facebook comments and mobile uploads of said folks with their PSL's.  We get it.  It's fall.  Weather is getting cooler, leaves are changing color. There's no need to fill up a newsfeed with your posts or comments about your latest and greatest coffee treat. Trick's on you for spending $6 on a coffee. 

What We're Listening To Wednesday

Balls and Bumble Tatts is pleased to announce the celebration of.......

INTERNATIONAL KE$HA DAY!!!!!!!

 That's right. A day to celebrate all the glory that is the girl with the dolla (holla!) sign. People around the world are celebrating this joyous day, so we'd thought we'd join in. Obviduh. Just take a look: 

China

Australia

Italy

Spain

Don't stop. Make it Pop. DJ turn our speakers up. Here is what we've been listening to in honor of the fierce fashionista:

A: Grow a Pear - Ke$ha
At first glance, what would you think this song is about? Fruit? Growing? Well get this...it's none of the above. Let's just say that I haven't seen a pun for a song this good since K. Perry's classic, "I want to see your peacock." Oh the wittiness! While she has other innovative song titles (i.e. C U Next Tuesday), this song really deals with the day-to-day strife of a girl who's just trying to deal with a guy who's body parts resemble that of a woman.....pa-lea$e believe that harsher language is used in the actual song. This one hasn't quite hit the top ten charts yet, but don't let that stop you from giving it a listen. Not only will it motivate you to think negative thoughts about whatever suitable gentleman you're with at the time, it will also really make you question why our girl Ke$ has not received a grammy as of yet. "To be perfectly honest, I'm just not hooked on your phoenix"? I mean, only a genius writes lyrics like that. I hope the world gets to enjoy this number over the airwaves soon.  And by airwaves, I mean in a small, concealed closet area with the volume on low so parents of any kind are sure to not hear it. Party. Karamu. Ke$ha. Foreva.

MK: Your Love is My Drug - Ke$ha
HAPPY INTERNATIONAL KE$HA DAY!!!!  To honor this magnificent day, we have decided to spotlight our favorite Ke$ha songs.  Personally, mine is "Your Love is My Drug".  She's pretty upbeat talking about who she is in L-O-V-E with and how she's addicted - it's a crisis!  I always wonder what this dude's reaction is, and I hope he said yes to the slumber party in her basemet.  I just want to know how many glitter drums she owns and if she practiced with them when said crush had slumbered in her basement.

........Happy International Ke$ha Day to all and to all a goodnight.

Mullet and Mustache Monday

Welcome followers and welcome cold season! Martha has come down with a bit of a sickness today, so we've replaced our normal 'Martha's corner' with 'Mullet and Mustache Monday'. Mullet and Mustache Monday is like a free quarter pounder with cheese monopoly piece at McDonald's....a rare find, but oh-so-tasty!

Ready. Set. Stache.

This mullet either went solo to the prom or let his frat bro's cut his hair prior to the big composite picture. Accompanied with the red bowtie, this guy is all flash and no trash.

This Indian Princess is channeling her business-side and thinking about how great it is that her hair does not require an extensive amount of time to prepare in the morning. With that extra time, she can get to school extra early.

This guy is so mysterious, I feel like I'm reading a goose bumps novel. Can I see his eyes or can't I? Does his yellow jacket match the couch or doesn't it? Is his stache real or drawn on with permie marker?

I look at this and think of Jimmy Buffet's song, then wonder if that song was this man's inspiration for his pencil thin mustache. He looks like a Parrott Head. 

Feline Friday

Hip hip hooray - it's Feline Friday!  It's officially the most spook-tacular month of the year, so in honor of all things that give goosebumps, go bump in the night, or maybe just put some hair on your chest, we've found some of our favorite scaredy cats. 

I can only imagine what was captured.  Perhaps a reaction to Willow Smith performing her new single?  Most likely it was the result of a mouse trap gone wrong....and now someone is without dinner.



Has woken up full of fear, for he just realized he's been out on a night with Frank & Louie and isn't sure what happened. while they frolicked.  Paws up, scaredy cat.





Alas, this cat is not afraid, but he is so large that he could protect any scaredy cat.  In fact, this little meow, Ricky Bobby, is single and ready to mingle.  Ladies?  Contact us if you'd like an intro with this fearless feline.

True or False Thursday

Hold up - "Where's the trick or treat?" you ask. We know this rash change in topic is undoubtedly causing mass hysteria in the world of the interwebs. But these True and False questions are just too good to pass up. Consider this a quiz as to how well you know your favorite blog princesses - your blincesses - and see which ones questions you get right. A correct answer warrents a pat on the black. An incorrect answer warrents a slap in the face. Enter this questionnaire....if you dare. You might find out that True or False Thursday is, indeed, a treat which is not a trick.

T or F: MK had "don't cha" as her ringtone in college.
Answer: T - Don't Cha know it....this song has been a hit since day one and will remain a hit even though Nicole Scherzinger has left the PCD's to pursue an even worse career as a judge on  The X Factor and The Sing Off. Here's the story - One day, MK let for class, forgot her phone, and also forgot to turn off her alarm (b/c the ringtone was her alarm too, naturally) and her other 3 roommates who did not want to get out of beds listened to the ringtone/alarm go off for 50 minutes. straight. no chaser.

"don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me.  don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me.  don't cha"

 

on repeat. 

just those lines.

 

 

T or F: A has been known to hide in bushes and creep out drunk people. She's also been know to call people and just tell them she's in a bush outside of their house. 

Answer: T - Now, this sounds weird. But A assures you that it's not. Most people walk by a bush, look at it, and accept it for what it is - a green collection of leaves that take up nature's space for no reason. However, A looks at a bush and sees opportunity. If someone called you, told you they were in a bush, and needed you to bring 12 chicken nuggets, 2 bottles of well tequila, and a bag of puff Cheetos, would you not rush out your front door to provide the necessary items? Better yet - if you were intoxicated and walking alone down a street, and heard a bush questioning you about the your actions that night, would you not reflect on your actions and changes your ways? The lesson here is one that we can all learn: If the bush asks, you answer. Life is just too short not to. 

 

This picture popped up when we googled True or False. Not sure why.

Martha's Corner

Dear Martha, you are always wise and I know I can come to you with any problem and you are sure to offer me motherly advice. I've come into a little bit of a "workplace debacle"...and before you jump to conclusions this is not a case of mistaken identity that plagues Melanie Griffith in Working Girl. Although I do love that movie. Let the river run, sister. Here is my predicament. I have a friend at work, let's call her "Mia". "Mia" and I (Elizabuff...Buffy for short) both have a crush on the same, older man that we work with...we will call him Tobias, Toby for short. Today, he sent me, Buffy, a flirty email about the disaster that was the Husker football game on Saturday. It was sexual and playful at the same time. Did I feel a stirring in my undercarriage? Perhaps. I told Mia about it...and instead of being happy for me, for the hope of a future with this dapper Brad Pitt look-a-like, she disparaged me (obviously she is not a sister) and threatened to expose to our cyber-relationship. I'm at a loss martha...this could be the one...the one that will take me down to the brass rail bar. Sits me next to a phi delt and an agr. And the girls behind the shutters will turn green that night when he walks me home and holds me tight. Help me martha...help help me martha.

Signed, melancholy mel(anie griffith)


 A: Dear Melancholy Mel - It sounds like this problem is really one for the books. Not only are you dealing with the pain of a heartbreaking football loss, but now you can't even partake in a flirtatious email due to this treacherous friend of yours, Mia. Being that the last Martha's corner involved a problem with a dog, I'd like to revert back to a tactic that I once learned in my own dog's training class a while back. It sounds like Toby needs to make a decision and Mia needs to know once and for all that Toby has chosen you as his lady of the night. In order to do this, you need to find a setting where you can stand on one side of the room and Mia can stand on the other. From there, place Toby in the middle and both of you can give your best attempt at what is sometimes referred to as a 'cat call'. Now, you only really get one opportunity to get him to "buy tickets to what you're sellin'" if you know what I mean. So don't keep it classy, stay trashy. Once you have given it your all, let Toby decide which way he's going to go. Much like dogs, men will gravitate towards what appeals to them most, and you my friend are a steak dinner with a chew toy on top. Once Mia realizes the choice he has made, she'll have no option but to be happy and move on. Either that or she'll quit. A win-win I'd say. After all, we are radars of the night, who'd rather (do something) then fight. Don't fight Mel, do something. Do stuff, Elizabuff.

MK: What a debacle. To begin with, sorry for your loss to Bucky and his Badgers. How riskay of Toby to be sending you flirty emails! You might've felt a stirring in your undercarriage which is okay, especially with a Brad Pitt look-a-like. Those look-a-likes tend to garner a significant amount of attention and jealousy from others who are not receiving the attentin from them. You are absolutely correct in the fact that Mia is not a sister, since she's too busy disparaging you. I'd recommend to remove her from your list of friends. I'm a firm believer that honesty is the best policy, so I think a fireside chat with Mia and your explanation of how you think Toby is the one, especially the one to take you down the big brass rail, which is such a big committment! Combine that with a love for college football, and you two are on your way to pure bliss.